Look... If you had one shot
to sit on your lazy butt
and watch all the tv you ever wanted
until your brain turned to mush,
Would you go for it? Or just let it slip? Yo!
Remote is ready, eyes wide, palms are sweaty
The Flintstone's on the TV already
Wilma and Betty
No virgin to channel surfin
And I'm HD ready
So I flip, garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth, always says something foul
They're dying, Wow!
Wannabe's are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel
Show's based on reality
Oh the humanity!
Oh! Ozzy's family!
Sho' loves profanity!
Whoa! The insanity!
Oh! Dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No! They live happily
Yo! Plus "Da Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh there's Anna Nicole
She's scaring me
Look ma, no cavities!
Oh! It's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something
You're gonna lose your mind watchin tv they told me
They scold me, but I still tune in every show
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime
(You're gonna) lose your mind watchin' TV they told me
Cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos!"
Gonna watch C-SPAN TV Land and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime
My butt is aching as I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King to "24" to "Law and Order"
The Weather Channel's boring like 60 Minutes
Ancient reporters next up on "E True Hollywood Story"
Oh and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour
After that felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambition
Next week on FOX, watch lions eat christians
Like to tie up those programming planners
Make'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"
Leech covered grub eatin' fools on Survivor
Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider
And there's Gilligan and SpongeBob plus there's MacGyver
And Jay Leno has got Madonna and hey there's Luke Perry
And a special all pig-latin episode of "Drew Carey"
Wanna turn on ET cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot then we go back to "Are You Hot?"
I was planning on recording "The Sopranos". I forgot!
I love shows with or without a plot
I stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got one brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot
(You're gonna) lose your mind watching TV they told me
They scold me, but I still tune into every show
My cable's gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime
(You're gonna) lose your mind watching TV they told me
Cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show!"
I got it on C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime
You can watch anything you want to, man.
to sit on your lazy butt
and watch all the tv you ever wanted
until your brain turned to mush,
Would you go for it? Or just let it slip? Yo!
Remote is ready, eyes wide, palms are sweaty
The Flintstone's on the TV already
Wilma and Betty
No virgin to channel surfin
And I'm HD ready
So I flip, garbage is all I'm getting
There's Simon Cowell
Who folks wanna disembowel
He opens his mouth, always says something foul
They're dying, Wow!
Wannabe's are crying now
He votes them out
Time to throw in the towel
Show's based on reality
Oh the humanity!
Oh! Ozzy's family!
Sho' loves profanity!
Whoa! The insanity!
Oh! Dogs that crap and pee
Home of depravity?
No! They live happily
Yo! Plus "Da Ali G Show"
And "Celebrity Mole"
Oh there's Anna Nicole
She's scaring me
Look ma, no cavities!
Oh! It's a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something
You're gonna lose your mind watchin tv they told me
They scold me, but I still tune in every show
My cable gets C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Travel Channel, Discovery, and Lifetime
(You're gonna) lose your mind watchin' TV they told me
Cajoled me, "Turn off those music videos!"
Gonna watch C-SPAN TV Land and HBO
The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime
My butt is aching as I watch NASCAR racing
That show about undertaking
Larry King to "24" to "Law and Order"
The Weather Channel's boring like 60 Minutes
Ancient reporters next up on "E True Hollywood Story"
Oh and "Fear Factor" I watched maybe a half hour
After that felt like I needed a long shower
Network execs with naked ambition
Next week on FOX, watch lions eat christians
Like to tie up those programming planners
Make'em watch all of that junk 'til their heads explode just like "Scanners"
Leech covered grub eatin' fools on Survivor
Look there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider
And there's Gilligan and SpongeBob plus there's MacGyver
And Jay Leno has got Madonna and hey there's Luke Perry
And a special all pig-latin episode of "Drew Carey"
Wanna turn on ET cause I'm a gossip freak
And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week
A 30 second spot then we go back to "Are You Hot?"
I was planning on recording "The Sopranos". I forgot!
I love shows with or without a plot
I stare 'til my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot
Because I only have got one brain to rot
I'm gonna spend my life watching television a lot
(You're gonna) lose your mind watching TV they told me
They scold me, but I still tune into every show
My cable's gets C-SPAN, TV-Land, and HBO
The Sci-Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime
(You're gonna) lose your mind watching TV they told me
Cajoled me, "Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show!"
I got it on C-SPAN, TV Land and HBO
The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime
You can watch anything you want to, man.
Deep inside the merky swamp There lives the Alligator His policy is first to chomp And then ask questions later...
The Amoeba is so small you need A microscope to see one It hurts the eyes but I ll concede I d rather see then be ...
The Aardvark is really a curious creature If you re an ant then he s likely to eat cha Although his long nose ma...
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she s very plai...
Sie sehen mich meinen Vorgarten maehen Ich weiss sie denken dass ich weiss und nerdig unmodisch bin Sie d...
Your butt is wide well mine is too Just watch your mouth or I ll sit on you The word is out better treat me right Ca...
How come you re always such a fussy young man Don t want no Captain Crunch don t want no Raison Bran Well don t y...
Yeah A used pink bathrobe A rare mint snowglobe A Smurf TV tray I bought on eBay My house is filled with this crap S...
Hi Ya Garrets Hi Raul You Wanna Go For a Ride On What ON THIS Barbies Such a Bitch She Is Just A Witch ...
What is this song all about Can t figure any lyrics out How do the words to it go I wish you d tell m...
